Contentment

So, last night sitting in church it hit me, I mean really hit me. I am not content with my life and deep down I believe that only when I have a baby of my own that I will truly be content. However, I realize that if God ever does give me a baby, then I will find something else in my life that I am not content about. Contentment does not rest in my ability to bear children. The best thing that I can do for my "future" children, is learn how to be truly content with what God has already given me. I brought nothing into this world and I will take nothing out of it when I die-that means I can't even take my children with me. God knows already what I need and what He sees fit to give me, I need to accept, be content with and ever so thankful because its already more than I deserve. So, really I already have my needs-what God believes I have need of and I should spend my days resting in that and learning to be content with that. I don't "need" a child-I want a child....its a desire of my heart; but until God sees fit to give me a child-I need to learn to be content and if I can learn this simple lesson, I will gain so much and if the Lord ever allows me to have children they will be able to get gain in their lives from having an example of a mother who knows how to be content with the things and gifts of God.