10 on Tuesday

1. Well, I never did post What Not to Say last Thursday. We were out of town with no internet access, so I will try again this week.
2. Sunday, a friend of mine announced that she is expecting her third child. It really hit me hard. I just kept thinking to myself, why does she get to have three and I don't get to have any?
3. With that thought leads me to my next thought, I should be happy for people because I know how happy and excited I will be when I finally get pregnant...I guess I just have those kind of days where I don't want to be happy.
4. It has been gorgeous out lately! I love cool, fall weather. Not to hot; but not to cold.
5. Thursday, I get to help my husband celebrate his 30th birthday! So fun, can't wait to give him his present he has no idea what to expect!
6. Bath and Body Works is having a great sale. Went to buy a birthday present for a friend and came out with a bagful of goodies for myself...
7. Do you realize how fast water can flow through ones system? Pretty fast! I have been trying to drink more water and it just flows out of me faster than I can drink it in! lol!
8. Tomorrow my husband and I get to go golfing...haven't been in a while, so hopefully I am not to much of an embarrassment to him.
9. If you don't have your volume on, turn it on-I posted music!
10. Thursday, I promise to do my best and post, What Not to Say!

10 on Tuesday

1. It is a very cool and rainy day...it feels like fall is here-time to pull out the jackets!
2. Question, is it true if you have a puppy/dog that when a baby comes along its time to say goodbye to the puppy/dog? Just curious, I keep meeting people that say babies and dogs/puppies don't go together well.
3. My answer to the question, I don't see any reason why you need to get rid of your "animal baby" as long as they are not a threat to your human baby! =)
4. I hate baby dreams, last night I had a dream that I was feeding a baby girl, then I dressed her up into this cute bumble bee outfit and had my mom take pictures of me and her together. The dream felt so real and I was disappointed to wake up and find it not true...
5. Cherry Dr. Pepper, I really love that stuff lately. I don't usually drink a lot of pop; but lately it just always sounds so good, I find myself having to drink it.
6. Thinking about writing a book for people who are wanting a baby; but just can't seem to get pregnant. There is not much on the book market regarding this subject.
7. My husband turns 30 pretty soon, wow he is getting old! I am three years behind him, he really robbed the cradle when he married me.
8. I am so impressed with myself, this 10 on Tuesday thing is coming to me very easily!
9. I am so proud of myself, I have lost 13 pounds-trying to get my body back to a good healthy weight...it would probably be healthier if I would quit drinking the cherry dr. pepper!
10. Stay tuned to Thursday for my post, What Not to Say!

Really, I am!

I am going to attempt to start posting to this blog at least every other day. I really need to be more commited to my blog. Beginning tomorrow, I will be doing 10 on Tuesday, Thursdays I will post a new weekly "post" entitled What Not to Say and on Saturdays I hope to post relevant updates about my current life! Oh the ideas I have, we will see what really happens! Until tomorrow!

Another Month, Another No

I was pleasantly surprised with how well I handled getting my "special friend" this month. I was not counting days, I have noticed that when I figure out the exact day my period is due that I create problem thoughts for myself. Thoughts of, "I don't feel any early cramps, I think I might be pregnant!" Then it goes from there, when I think that there might be a chance of pregnancy, my next thought leads to, "what can I accomplish in the next 9 months and how will I tell my husband/family the news?!" But, this month while I must admit, I did have a thought of what if I am pregnant-it was very fleeting. When my "special friend" showed up, I was disappointed; but the Lord is teaching me that this is for my good and His glory. I might not always understand what the good is; but there is a good reason for the Lord doing this in my life and I can glorify the Lord in this situation if I choose to be. So, the question is am I going to glorify Him? This month? Yes! Haha-now hopefully next month I can have this same good attitude.

Contentment

So, last night sitting in church it hit me, I mean really hit me. I am not content with my life and deep down I believe that only when I have a baby of my own that I will truly be content. However, I realize that if God ever does give me a baby, then I will find something else in my life that I am not content about. Contentment does not rest in my ability to bear children. The best thing that I can do for my "future" children, is learn how to be truly content with what God has already given me. I brought nothing into this world and I will take nothing out of it when I die-that means I can't even take my children with me. God knows already what I need and what He sees fit to give me, I need to accept, be content with and ever so thankful because its already more than I deserve. So, really I already have my needs-what God believes I have need of and I should spend my days resting in that and learning to be content with that. I don't "need" a child-I want a child....its a desire of my heart; but until God sees fit to give me a child-I need to learn to be content and if I can learn this simple lesson, I will gain so much and if the Lord ever allows me to have children they will be able to get gain in their lives from having an example of a mother who knows how to be content with the things and gifts of God.

For His Good & For His Glory

Oh my word, what I have been so busy doing that I haven't updated this in forever?! Well, since my last post, my "dear friend" showed up. How did that make me feel? 1.) I really wasn't surprised that it showed up, I knew in my heart I wasn't pregnant. 2.) I was sad, but no tears were shed. 3.) I was able to move on and accept it more easily than in times past. Each month that passes, I still get sad; but it gets easier to accept.
A friend of mine and I were talking-she is going through this as well. We are often told, that if God ever allows us to get pregnant when we look back these months will look so small and we will smile and think ourselves silly because we thought we would be waiting for forever. I can't help but think that though it may true, the people that often tell us these things get pregnant quite easily so they really don't know what we are feeling. Feelings of helpless and hopelessness are no "silly" matter and right now it is hard to think of the future. Its best to just live day by day and not put hope into "what ifs" and possibilities that may never be.
My husband and I are going to keep "trying" until December and if we are still not pregnant, we are going to consider talking to a doctor and seeing what can be done. We have now officially been trying for 9 months total.
God is good and He is always right, even though it may seem that we disagree with His will, deep down we really do want it because it best and this situation is for my good and for His glory!

2 Days....

So, my wonderful friend is to show up within two days...augh!!!!!!!!!!! I hope it doesn't come-I want to tell God not to let "it" show up; but then I remember, His will is best and if it is time for me to have a baby in my tummy He will put a baby there!
Other than, hoping my "friend" doesn't show up, I am dealing with a sunburn and a slight headache from hardly sleeping the last three nights. Hopefully, when I write next it will be with good news...