My "Special" Friend

So, I realized...yet again that I am officially not preggo this month either. Augh!!!! There was hope; but deep down I knew I wasn't preggo even before my period, which I lovingly call my "special" friend appeared this week. You know, I was thinking this week about the months previous and when I should have bought stock in the pregnancy tests that even though I was taking the test that deep down I knew I wasn't preggo. So, why was I spending my money on something I knew was going to tell me no once again? I guess its because I don't want to feel like I am giving up on my fight to get preggo...I want it so bad that I don't want to let the defeat I feel deep down show to anyone else but me. I realize that every month that passes with me not being preggo defeats my husband as well...but I think he feels defeated because he knows just how disappointed I am-especially during the months when I cry. I try not to cry every time. Next week I get a pap done and I am going to ask my doctor questions about what to do...to help increase my chances of pregnancy if there is something that I can do I want to do it! Especially, if it could help me be cramp free for 9 months due to this special friend that shows up to remind me that I am not preggo!
My hope...well since the answer was no this month that means I have another month to at least continue working at my body to get it in better shape! I am trying to lose weight and I know its best to lose weight before I get preggo because it has been said if you are at your desired weight when you do get preggo it is easier to shed the baby weight after birth! Also, if you are treating your body good now, you are already doing good for yourself and a baby! So, my hope is that by this time next month I will have dropped at least another 5 lbs! Do you have unwanted pounds that you complain about? If your answer was no this month as well...join me and shed some unwanted pounds!

Welcome

Dear Friend,
Hello...well if you are reading this blog there is a good chance that you are in the same boat that I am! You want a baby; but there is still no baby and it seems that possibly pregnancy seems an unreachable dream. Where do you and I find hope and peace in a time of waiting for a baby? How do we find the smile to put on our faces when another girlfriend tells us that she is expecting? Do we push down the emotions we feel when we see a newborn being held in the arms of its mother in a public place? Unfortunately, these are questions that I do not have the answers to and these very questions are things that I have had to face. I may not be able to ever answer these questions...but through this blog I hope to be able to share hope in the journey with you!
Love,
A Baby Dreamer